Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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