Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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