some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
