What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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