we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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