LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
