Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
