I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
