New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
