i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
