My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
