U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize