I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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