porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
