Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You don't make any sense
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