I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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