Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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