Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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