it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
