I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
