dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize