You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
