Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
