I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
