he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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