So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize