We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize