If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize