im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
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we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
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The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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