You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
