I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
