So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
