how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
