I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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