Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
