You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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