And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
