well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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