yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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