ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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