Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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