no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
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Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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