I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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