hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
