The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
