Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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