3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
