Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
