Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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