The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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