If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
