you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
