maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i love accidental penises.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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