Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
