i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize