it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
