That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
