We're like a lot better than the average bears
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
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