i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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