Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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