I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
