last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
